The Biography of Haruhi Suzumiya
by dudelol222
Summary: Haruhi's story told through the eyes of another person. Please read and give feedback.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here that you recognize. If you recognize anything as something famous or well known, it's not mine. Haruki Kobayashi is my character, but why would anyone want him yet?**

**The Biography of Haruhi Suzumiya**

Although I have always believed trading card games to be a complete waste of time, money, and resources since I was very young, I have recently come to enjoy playing a certain card game which I set my eyes on. The rules of the game are surprisingly simple: two players start by deciding on how many points each player is allowed. Then, the players take it in turns to draw cards out of a custom made deck and play their different types of cards in order to make the other player lose points. The game continues like this until one player runs out of points or when some other condition is fulfilled. This particular game satisfies me because it involves a bit of skill as well as luck; involving luck when you open a box, pack, or sealed single in order to enhance your deck when building it; and involving skill when it comes to making a structure for your deck to reach your goal. Even though I've lost games and cards due to unlucky draws during the critical moment when I wager my own cards against an opponent, I've never failed to return to the games due to the fact that I've fallen in love with the game mechanics. You could say the game was almost addicting for me.

I've also found out recently that there were anime programs on television that specifically revolved around card games, computerized creatures, and beasts with powers granted from the earth. Thus, I became quite addicted to these anime programs as well as my games and fell ignorant that life all around me was continuing while I was stuck in my fantasy world. Consequently, I got into more trouble at school with my grades, and dropped significantly from my already poor class rankings.

It was at times like this that I had imagined myself as the main character in those anime programs. I would become the boy who miraculously beat a world champion of a famous card game by luck, and then be hunted down by greedy people who desired my cards due to my newfound strategy. This would escalate into many adventures through history and through present until I became the new world champion.

However, that kind of thing sounds like a whole lot of pointless action filler just to become a card game champion. And if the fate of the world or preservation of history depended on the turnout of a card game, what would happen if I lost?

So now I'm thinking: a world filled with creatures with special powers that humans have to capture, tame, and battle with until there is one ultimate master with the best taming skills out of everyone else in the world.

The downside to a world like that would be that it reminds me of rooster fights or dog matches, AKA animal cruelty. I'd rather not adventure in a dream world where daily life just happens to conflict with the moral standards of a large population of the people of reality.

Maybe I could just be a kid who finds a mysterious computer, gets trapped inside of the computer, and has to socialize with the local programs, and battle against viruses in order to get out, while at the same time, upgrade the programs so that they can become stronger while the trojans get more difficult. Then I would have to compete with others to make sure that my program society stays the strongest.

Then again, that idea sounds a bit like the previous idea in a virtual sense.

All fantasies aside, my third year of middle school had just come to a close, and I felt a good thirty years older than my current age. Perhaps looking at the fact that I was going to become a high school student bothered me, to the point that I started to fear not only for what could happen in high school, but after high school as well; however, I have never been the one to believe that you can be too cautious, so my fears stayed with me, unimportant, but there nonetheless. I had tested into the mediocre North High School, and my parents were not at all pleased when they had heard the news. My rebuttal: our neighbors' son, Kunikazu or something, had graduated from North High as well, and had managed to enter a fairly good university. The conversation however, ended with my parents giving me the usual light scolding, warnings about my future, and the recommendations to stop playing around after school and start studying. However, I have never taken heed to any of their warnings even though I know that that's going to bounce back and give me a big smack in the face when the time comes.

From incoming orientation, I found North High School to be a relatively normal high school inside and out. However, through my own experience I have come to the conclusions that normal does not mean uninteresting. There was a rather wide variety of clubs, and I decided to try every single one of them out. Unfortunately for me, I got on the nerves of some of the supervisors and the upperclassmen already in the clubs and received detentions before I became an official student in the school. Before I went home, I had already been presented with a detention paper, note how I did not use the word slip, filled with multiple reasons why I had received extensions on class duty:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

North High School Discipline Report

Name: Kobayashi Haruki

Punishment: Classroom duty extension; five-month period

Reasons for punishment: soccer team, broken goalpost

Tennis team, broken racket, ripped net, injured player

handball club, injured teacher

computer research society, destruction of new laptops

Tea club, second degree burn injury on student's leg

Kendo club, reckless tactics lead to student with a broken leg

manga club, destruction of property

Comments: Following the school bylaws, the punishment given is very minor because your son Haruki is a new student here, and the fact that every single code violation happened as an accident and was unintentional. We do advise, however, that your son be briefed with special safety recommendations for when he officially enters the school for his first year.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There wasn't anything on the paper that required evidence of the fact that my parents had actually seen the note, so I threw it into a nearby trash can as I walked home. Oh yeah, I forgot to formally introduce myself. I'm Haruki, male, fifteen years old, first year high school student in the making. My name means something along the lines of sunny and lively, and though I may have caused a live ruckus back at orientation, I had created a mood that was anything but sunny.

As I reentered my house I started thinking about the most random thing.

I have often been described as carefree to a fault.

Although I was unaware, I would learn about something that would come to have a huge impact on my life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes: I hope that you, as the reader, are enjoying this so far. I'm not really a good writer, but I enjoyed watching Haruhi Suzumiya so much that I decided to write a fanfic involving it. I know you might be thinking how come none of the characters from the anime or novels are here, but that will come in due time. I hope you will return to read the next chapter when the time comes and that you will look forward to the beginning of _Haruki's _adventures.


	2. Chapter 1

**... Everything I said in the Prologue also applies for this chapter.**

Did I ever tell you that my school lies up on the top of a very big hill? Did I also ever tell you that my home lies down on the bottom of a very big hill? Did I also ever mention that I'm talking about the same hill in both of the previously noted situations? If you couldn't tell, I would just like to inform you that I was trying to attempt something called sarcasm.

Yeah, my high school years were probably going to be proportionately long and painful to my walks up that hill.

The goddesses of luck are not on my side today. From the moment I stepped into the school, every single person there had known my name. The upperclassmen who were club leaders had spread word to all of their classmates, which in turn, may have allowed those classmates to spread the word to any underclass siblings, relatives, friends, and the like. Therefore, I wouldn't have to give any detailed introductions because everyone had the image of a human tsunami engraved in their minds. Moving along, the supervisor who I had just happened to have given a black eye too during my time with the handball club is also my homeroom teacher. Despite the big smile he showed to everyone on the first day of class together, I do believe he still may hold a bit of a grudge against me.

Finding a club to join seemed to be the hardest thing to do out of anything. I gave just about every single club a second look to see if anyone had forgiven me, skipping over the boring clubs such as the literature club and politics club until I was desperate. Almost every club had turned me down in fear, but the chess club put me down as 'pending'. So I was left with few options. I didn't want to just stay home under the constant watch of my mother and being nagged to study, so I decided to take whatever I could get.

With that thought, I then stopped at the last club the school had to offer, the literature club, and entered.

Now, it's not that I really like literature or reading anything for that matter, nor would I ever join the least popular club in the school; it was just at this point that I became desperate to join a club so I could pass some time and have an excuse to go home late.

The clubroom was empty, save for a table and a filled bookshelf. There was also a computer that looked untouched for a while.

My Messiah has come.

The heavens must have seen me in my desperation and decided to lend me an empty room with a computer. How generous of the great deities to give me a computer to use when I failed to join the computer research club. I had broken my home computer during the last school semester, so it has been quite a while since I had last used one. I turned on the computer and waited for the beautiful, soft, buzzing sounds to grace my ears. I heard a click, a slam, and a gasp.

Computers usually don't make those kinds of sounds, and I am pretty sure that neither Sam nor Michelle is able to make the sounds of a person deeply inhaling.

"Who are you? And what do you think you're doing?"

I found my eyes wide, because an angry goddess had just entered the room. She had short, dark hair. Along with her sailor uniform, she wore an expression of shock written all over her. Though not in amusement, her large shining eyes and her small mouth were wide open.

"You're t-that kid, Haruki the monster who tore down almost every club the school has."

Now, calling me a monster is very offensive, everything that happened was an accident.

"Leave."

"But I-"

"Get out."

"I wanted to join the club!"

"What was that?"

Good, I caught her attention.

"I'm here to join the literature club."

She looked at me from all sides and examined me to see if I was anyone suspicious. Hey, I would never do anything bad to a club on purpose here, you have to believe me.

"I'll get you a sign-up sheet then."

My methods of persuasion had worked.

Her name was Momoka Ishida and she was the president and sole member of the literature club before I came in. From the way she briefed me in, it sounded like she held the club really important to her, and then I remembered the rule that a club gets shut down if it doesn't have enough members in it. It was good to know that I wasn't the only desperate person in the school, even if the other person is desperate for reasons different from my own.

After filling out the short paperwork, I spent another hour in the clubroom just flipping through books, looking at them, and putting them back. I never actually read any of the books, but you can't blame me for trying to take some unearned eye candy. However, my attempts were unsuccessful, because there was no way I could get close enough. Oh well, it's not like she's the only pretty girl out there that I'll never have a chance with.

Minutes later, the upperclassman got up and left, no words exchanged.

I decided to stay here and play around with the computer I had turned on earlier before and found many interesting files. Most of them image files. They were very amusing. I would not have guessed that someone from our school would have images of girls in maid outfits being fondled around with. Files such as mikuru01.jpg and IMG2544.jpg were quite shocking. Who would have thought that someone could be that bold? But hey, it all works out for me in the end, because that girl is cute. Picture a Lolita face with a huge chest, not to mention that she's isn't very tall. I wonder when this thing was taken. But when I checked the date was around three years ago.

"May 14, 2009, huh?" I said to nobody.

The now in-college student must have been very bold back in his high school days.

I went around browsing through random files until I came across one that was modified rather recently.

"Hmm, cspc.exe, looks like some sort of game," I voiced to once again, nobody "the date here is…"

April 7, 2012 5:49 PM

No way.

The file was created today, just a few minutes ago. Could this be some weird omen? Should I be looking out for something? Maybe this is a prank being pulled by someone. But nobody really knows me. Could it be the computer research society trying to scare me because I broke their laptops? But only one person knows that I joined this club.

Why should I care about this file I just discovered? It isn't really anything important, and just because it looks a bit interesting doesn't mean it could be harmful. I mean, this is a computer program we're talking about.

I then stopped my seemingly endless questioning and ran the program not because I was actually curious, but because I was getting bored. Something like a game would have little or no impact on the results of my life.

The program was extremely slow, so I decided to put my head down while waiting for it to finish loading. Soon my eyes closed in accompaniment. Then, with a yawn, I left my world unconsciously for a short time being, not knowing when I'd return.

Of all the amazing things that I know life can offer, I get stuck here dozing off in the room of a literature club.

Damn.

* * *

Yeah... That's it... Hope you enjoy this and wait for the next one. 


	3. Chapter 2

Have you ever waken up to a beam of light coming from your bedroom window when your mornings start off? If you have not, I am sure that you have experienced some sort of eye irritation during a previous time in your life.

When my body decided for me to regain consciousness, I opened my eyes only to welcome a flood of sand running into them. It was painful. I was sure that diffusion had dried and reduced my eyes to a couple of raisins, but my exaggerations did not come true.

I've been dropped into the Sahara by camel herders.

Not really, but I did find myself in the middle of what appears to be a desert, lacking only in the extremely high temperatures I'd expect a desert should have during the daytime. There was nothing but sand for miles, ruling out the purpose of taking a touring the place; however, that didn't stop my wandering eyes from catching a glimpse of a strange rod-like object protruding out of the ground not far from where I was standing. With the conclusion that I wasn't going to be able to get out of this place for a while, I went to pick up the strange object. It was some kind of sword.

I'm dreaming. I know it.

Now for one of the most hackneyed clichés, "Curiosity killed the cat."

If you have played RPG's, adventure games, social games, or any other games whatsoever, you may know what a flag or an event trigger is. If you have not, an event trigger is an action performed by you, the player, which begins a scenario programmed into the video game.

Pulling the sword must have been an event trigger.

No, I'm not the little boy with the fairy who pulled the sword from the rock in the temple and aged seven years and grew skintight white stockings all of a sudden. But I did experience a phenomenon that I would compare and judge as about the same level of shock and amusement.

Because something jumped right out of the sand nearby and landed in front of me, and if I didn't have enough brains to know to run away, I would not be living any longer. I could hardly catch my own breath due to the sand being blown into the air.

Has anyone ever described to you what a cave cricket is? I saw the insect during a special on a nature program channel on television. They are about five centimeters long and have legs which are about ten centimeters in length. Now use your imaginations and picture that thing, brown and humpbacked, magnified to sixty times its original size and you might just know just what is now standing before me. Still, somehow I get the feeling you could recall seeing something like this before. I'm surprised, because an unwelcome challenge such as this must come only once in a few generations.

Why me?

I dropped the sword and ran as fast as I could, trying to find a way to get out of this deserted desert. Luck must not be on my side, as the cave cricket jumped and chased after me. Thank heavens these things are wingless, but the thing can still jump in front of me in any direction I try to run in before I get there. Is this my fate?

Life is most precious when the probability becomes high that you're going to lose it.

I'm dreaming. I know it. However, I still don't want to die here.

And with that thought, along with the adrenaline pumping through me, a light in my head turned on.

I am really stupid.

With that in mind, I dashed back to the spot where I had dropped the strange sword, hoping it would still be there. I could imagine my legs making buckets of sweat and lactic acid right now because of my running around, for I was losing my breath with each running step. Luck had returned to my side, the sword remained where I first left it.

Throwing my old instinct of running away behind me, I charged back toward the cave cricket and swung the sword toward one of its legs. It caught on to me a bit too late, and I was able to land a small scratch on one of its hind legs. Perfect, now maybe it won't jump so much.

I made a mistake, again.

The cave cricket jumped away from me and I lost sight of it. I decided to use this time as a chance to take a break and wait for it to come back to attempt to attack me so that I would gain an equal opportunity to land a strike as well; however, taking the time to rest reduced my awareness, as the cave cricket came from behind me and swept me down using its antennae. As it ironically was about to step on me like a bug, I quickly stood up and tried to regain my balance.

"Here's my last chance!"

I swung my blade as the thing's leg came down and cut it clean off. I never knew I had that in me. The cave cricket cringed and shrunk back, and I was ready to face it now.

Game over, I win.

I stabbed the blade into the head of the cave cricket and it shattered into pieces after meeting its death. I've probably experienced something more exciting than most people can dream of. But with that matter aside, I was just relieved and elated at the fact that I was still alive. I dropped the sword, closed my eyes, and used my hand to wipe the sweat from my forehead.

When I reopened my eyes, I found myself sitting in a chair in front of a computer desk, back inside the clubroom.


	4. Chapter 3

The purpose of sleep is to allow for some time for the body to be less active, to allow time for recovery, and to conserve energy.

I feel exhausted. I am relieved, but exhausted.

"That was one heck of a dream." I said to my friend, nobody.

I sat up and looked around lazily. I needed more time to rest, but I should probably be going home by now.

6:43 AM

The time was displayed on the bottom right-hand corner of the monitor.

Luckily, my eyes happened to catch that before I left.

Unluckily, I didn't do any of my homework.

Even worse, I had morning duty in about fifty minutes, all thanks to orientation.

Well, I guess I should start to use whatever time I have to the best of my ability.

I'm screwed.

With that all said and done, I proceeded to open my text and notes to get to work. There wasn't a lot of homework given that it was the first day of class, but I still found it to be surprisingly difficult. Fifty minutes felt like hours as I struggled with each topic.

7:30 AM

"Time to go," I told nobody, "I guess."

The school day felt as if it had came and went in comparison to my early morning homework session, and I found myself walking back to that clubroom in the old shack as if I had just went to use the restroom. From how it felt like, brief would be an understatement if you were to describe my day.

When I entered, I found Momoka in the clubroom sitting in deep thought.

"Hey upperclassman, what are you thinking about?"

"The club's periodical could be a good way to bring in some members."

Was she talking to me? Or did she make friends with nobody when I was gone?

"But where would I get enough people to contribute. I only have a few, but there are so few people and so many pages."

Ishida-san, what are you talking about?

"All I need is three more people. That kid from yesterday was a godsend, but he didn't bring any buddies along with him."

That kid would also like to know what in the world you're saying. And if he knew what was going on, I'm sure he'd be glad to help out.

"You're here today Kobayashi, that's good. I need you to write something. Anything will do as long as it's not too short or too long. It can be whatever you want within boundaries.

It would be great if you could give it to me by the end of the week."

That was surprisingly frank.

After that we just sat there and read for a while. Well, she read her story while I did some of my textbook reading. The silence slowly started to get aggravating. I have to do something. I have to be the needle that pops the balloon, something small could lead to something big. Do your best Haruki.

"So," I began while eyeing the book's amber dustcover, "what's that you're reading over there."

"Wizard boy."

She hardly budged. Did her lips even move?

"How is it?"

"Cheezy."

"You think so?" I replied.

"But entertaining." She finished.

Dammit, this isn't working. I shouldn't expect any positive results though. I doubt most upperclassman care much about the freshman after orientation or when there's no need to pay attention to them.

"Do you enjoy reading?"

"Quite a lot."

Compared to when I had first met her, this one seems like an entirely different person.

"But you don't."

Huh?

"You don't like to read all that much do you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You look around the room more than you look down at your book."

She knew the whole time? Well I read my textbook at the very least.

"That's different."

Defeated, I decided to drop the whole matter entirely. I really needed a break then. Once she leaves I'm playing on the computer. I'll play that game to blow some steam.

"Are you free this weekend?" She spoke.

"Yeah, I'm free." I responded.

"Could you meet me at the library Sunday afternoon? I'm going to try to get you into reading. There isn't any point of you staying here otherwise."

Is this like a date of sorts?

"Depends on how you think about it."

She got up and left.

The game which could only be referred to by me as cspc.exe stunk. The controls are simple, not requiring a whole lot of key combinations. However, the rest of the game was just controlling a stick figure and using certain pick-up items in order to defeat a variety of strange blue blobs revolving around one basic shape. Even, with the terrible graphics and gameplay mechanics, I still found myself playing until.

GAME OVER

I lifted my head toward the screen in awe. Whoever made this game is cruel to make it game over after being hit twice. I decided to quit the program. A blinding light came from the computer screen and I heard the computer. I winced and shut my eyes tightly before opening them again. The computer froze, so I decided to turn it off and go home.

While walking down the hallways, I heard a giant plop behind me. I turned around and looked back and saw something strangely familiar. A weird blue blob appeared before me and stood there with its body wiggling slightly as if there were no way to actually hold that thing still. Its lower body and legs were thin and slender, while the upper body was rather big. If you tried to picture the thing as a human, it would look very buff; however, closer examination brings the question of how that thing can even stand without crushing its own legs.

The blob decided to make the first move. On its head, I saw one slit begin to from into a red circle. I watched curiously as that circle seemed to bud out two smaller circles of the same color. A mouth budding out two eyes is a rather spectacular sight to see, though rather creepy.

I found myself unable to move as the thing seemed to slowly move toward me. It moved in a fashion that was between a walk and a bounce, not unlike that game where the kid finds the giant key and starts beating up those white-gray weirdoes. Unfortunately for me, I received no key to defend myself with, even if such a thing does look ridiculous.

The blob made its way toward me and formed its deformed fingers on his hand into a fist. And it did something that was quite expected, because most people would do such a thing if they were going to make a fist at someone.

It punched. Its fist went right through my chest.

Heart attack! Who wrote my name in the notebook?

The thing's fist and half of its arm had gone right through my chest, making a sound like a raindrop falling into a pond. My heart was burning, but the shock had allowed me to regain my ability to move. I ran away from the blob as fast as I could, feeling the same burn again as the fist came out of my chest. I had to find a way out of here as soon as possible. The thing chased after me, but I managed to get it off my tail as I ran out of the old shack and toward the tennis courts as the safest way out of the school. I tried hiding by one of the storage shacks where supplies were held to take a breather and wipe my sweat.

Not to far away, I saw a racket in its case that hadn't been put away yet, and decided to take it out to defend myself. It was conveniently placed, but I doubt it would actually help against a supernatural creature like that.

Still, I should probably see a psychiatrist and talk about this problem. I already had one messed up dream this week, and I don't want to begin building a trend of these freakish nightmares.

I opened up the racket case. There was no racket.

But someone has sent me my key.

Inside was the same sword I had used to fight that cave cricket with.

This is a phenomenon.

And while I was marveling at how this strange omen of coincidence had occurred, the blue thing was approaching me at my hiding place.

It's true when they say that problems you run away from will come back to follow you.

It's time for me to fight this guy face to face, one on one, man to thing- you get the picture.

I ran to the blob, and we were each on one side of the net. We stood for a moment, a déjà vu of our first encounter, before I decided to make the first move this time. I ran started to run forward and the thing quickly jumped to my side in response. Once we were close enough I swung and slashed the blob right across the body. It burst like the jellies in the field the moon was going to land on. The chunks that were the remains of the humanoid blob melted into a grayish liquid and became absorbed by the ground.

Eww

My adrenaline stopped flowing, and I became weary once again as I fell on the ground. I was weakened, but conscious. I saw more blobs coming. The thing had called its brothers. But at this point I saw the numbers and just gave up. Maybe if I played dead they'd leave me alone. I closed my eyes and waited for death or morning, which ever came first.


End file.
